On Captain Fantastic

Captain Fantastic demonstrates an uplifting story of an eccentric father who adopts an unorthodox belief or people may call it “hippie philosophy” in order to nurture his 6 kids in a forest of Pacific Northwest, America.

Long story short, the father raises his kids with ideological system of rejecting established society and cultural values. Therefore his kids are all home schooled and necessarily become socially backward. But despite that fact, his kids become very knowledgeable, smart and observant. They have very high literacy level unlike any american kids who are attached to constant visual stimulation of their cellphones, these kids always hold up a book to read instead.

The father also trains his kids to practice survivalism. Hence, every morning the father packs the day with outdoor and very dangerous trainings in the uninhabited wilderness where they live such as rock climbing and hunting a living deer with arrows for instance. 

While on the other side, the mother doesn’t really play a role in the movie cause she suffers manic depression or bipolar. Due to the serious mental illness, the mother has been associated for long time with suicidal thoughts. And eventually, while she’s getting the medical treatment, she commits suicide.

I think this movie’s enjoyable and i absolutely dig it. And after walking you through the story above, I’m eager to tell the pros and cons of the father’s parenting style on education preference to his children. Let’s get cracking!

Fairy Tales are Perceived as Harmful for Children: The kids don’t celebrate Christmas. The kids don’t fall for idea of fictional elf, such imaginary and fairy tales-themed story don’t lure them. On this particular idea, i obviously disagree, i think fairy tales are good for children, it’s beneficial to develop their morals, boost creativity and to have a dream as they grow up. But the father’s perspective is a far cry from that, he thinks that happy ever after stories are harmful and make the children unprepared for the real world. 

The Idea of Homeschooling: Even though all the kids are homes-schooled, they keep up with the academic insights very remarkably. They learn so many things from the books that the father tell them to read. Not solely reading, the father also always sorts out to have the sesh criticizing about the moral and important bottom lines that the book conveys.

This part of the movie has told me that we actually can use whatever resource that is accessible to acquire knowledge since in this era of tech, people crave instant gratification or result – as the consequence, conventional reference like books seems to be abandoned and we that makes us least skillful in literacy development.

But on the other side, I’m not a pro of home schooling cause i think going to real school is an ideal way for self-development in attaining education cause the kids are able to learn how to make friend, actively get involved in a community, practice problem solving, public speaking and in the end have a hand in something. 

Though the father considerably used to eschewed formal academic degrees, but he finally realizes the kids are unprepared for the real world. Hence, he’s eventually open to changes and has reasons to be broadminded. The eldest son who secretly managed to get accepted to Ivy League school is finally allowed to persue his dreams – to attain formal education in college.

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On Fretting About Vulnerability

People perceive vulnerability as a frailty. We keep showing ourselves that we constantly stand strong on maintaining our selfhood / individuality. Even we acknowledge that we feel immensely lost in a sense – or concisely speaking, it’s when we don’t feel grounded.

The vulnerability i convey  here can be the moment when we don’t feel courageous to be seen emotionally naked for what we actually feel – towards disengagement from work or emotional hunger from relationship with a spouse or friends, homeless spirituality, when we encounter lack of acceptance in the community, etc etc.

We tend to have no power in embracing and deal with it cause we’re ashamed of it. We’re inclined to kill it off but in point of fact, being vulnerable is very human – not necessarily categorized as ‘sensitive’. We’re never fully equipped to always remain secure and to price in any disastrous event in our life.  Not all of us was born a stoic.

Doubting ourselves, and stuck in the loftiness of thoughts seem inevitable. As Brene Brown always vocalizes about on her books – we do need guidance and support to sustain our selfhood and that’s only possible if we embrace our vulnerability.

You know how it rolls, we need to embrace it by being honest for what we feel – reach out and open up to people you trust, ask for help when it’s needed, confess your lack of independence and other forms of being emotionally seen in a liberating sense. By opening up, it offers us the possibility to connect more with the people you feel like home with as well as discover more about yourself – yes that  necessarily ain’t comfortable. But be alright with not being comfortable. ✔️

On Maintaining Individuality: The Appeal of Solitude.

Be one of the crowd and socialize is my main need to be recharged. But lately i feel drawn and tired out being consumed by the clamor of day to day routine. Packing the day with a bunch of activities to cross off each to-do on the list is necessary. But during the process encountering shallow insincere talk with people is inevitable and that’s kind of exhausting in some way. Sometimes the constant energy isn’t worth to spend. That’s why when i’m given a solitary moment, it feels so glorious.

In the end, solitude is benefiting to be the go-to for escapism. Actually i used to dislike and neglect solitude, cause it seemed so mundane to a social butterfly like me. But i have reevaluated it with a different approach. So here i’m showing you the appeal of solitude and why you need to appreciate it as well. Lets get cracking..

We need to define the vast difference between solitude and loneliness. I guess solitude is the state when you’re unaccompanied but able to spend the day actively pack it with recharging activities that enable you to reconnect with your inner self and feel uplifted. It’s when you do your things you love on your own and it genuinely fulfill your sense of being without feeling lonely. It can be solo-traveling, reading or visiting art-space alone for instance. 

To me it happens through writing. It is exciting every time i must be diligently and meticulously arranging word by word, forming line by line of sentences to deliver my opinion. I like the process that’s required to finish it as well as the sense of accomplishment once i have nailed down a piece of work. Standing strong on my opinion by vocalizing it is what i enjoy doing with the goal of getting the better sense of certain issues and improving my self awareness. It’s also part of my self-discovery. And that’s what i can benefit from solitude.

But loneliness is utterly the opposite. It’s the state when you’re unaccompanied, feeling lonely and diving into all negative emotions. You become passive, disengaged, powerless to gain control of your time. You don’t engage or empower yourself passionately into what you’re doing. It naturally impacts our sense of being negatively. And needless to say, many scientific studies also state that it’s very powerful to put your health on bad risks.

There’re psychological benefits of solitude such as maintaining our self-hood. Among all the outside relationships we constantly nourish and stabilize we tend to underrate self-relationship. With solitude, we’re given the privilege to properly create our own space physically and emotionally. We’re able to utterly forget the pressure to please anyone and solely engaged with ourselves. In other words, it’s a method of self-care.

So get the better sense of solitude and appreciate it. When you’re given solitary moments, enjoy it with relish.

Meet The Doer.

Her name is Alexandra, 27, along with her husband she cofounds and becomes the CMO of tech startups company based in New York named Eight. I think she and her husband share pretty much mutual compatibility as a team. I like her energy to push through all the working plans on. The  way she maps out the rest of the day to rescue mondays is just ideal. She’s completely in control of managing all to-dos she needs to cross off. Giving kudos to her regular basis routine makes her as the doer i look up to! 💯🙌🏼🍻

Vocalizing The Sense of Working.

Here i vocalize about the sense of why we do what we do on daily basis that at times makes us knackered and throw it all in (as it is to be expected), working. Before diving into it, put aside all the $$$ matters that turns out to be the main but not the sole motive for working…

What i want to come off with is the upside and compelling facts about work, that happen to be the greatest contribution to our sense of well-being as a individual in the society. In other words, i want to be vocal about why it counts and why there’s more to it in the widder picture.

First, when we work we allow ourselves be buried in accomplishments and that contributes so much to inherent self-fulfillment. And as we ought to, we contribute something to the society constantly,  that’s how we belong and be acknowledged in certain ways. Not just the pride, but that significantly makes us feel grounded and solid for our sense of identity & belonging.

Second, working drives us forward. We carry on with having new things to educate ourselves on and improve in many constructive ways. So we don’t remain the same as who we are based on what we know but grow. We also have vivid goals to be in line with and things to keep on track with. Those reasons leave us no choice to be carefully aware and mindful in the choices confronted to us instead of living on autopilot. In other words, we learn to be fully responsible of our actions and the catastrophe that comes with it.

Third, working can be the solution to roll with the punches. At times, it works as the go-to for distraction to banish all worries that we possibly ruminate on when we got issues. We can stop exaggerating and nagging worries simply by working. Keeping ourselves viable and active let us not to be dominated with the negative emotions.

Lastly, science doesn’t lie. We all have neurochemicals that appear to affect the way our mind and body reacts. It is very intriguing to know how they work fascinatingly. Apparently productivity and cooperation make your brain release dopamine. So when you engage in a active and continuous activity that leads to cooperation, you get rewarded with dopamine. It’s the most desirable chemical, cause it activates good feelings, just like other feel-good chemicals. For instance, you get endorphines by going to gym, oxytocin by playing with your dog and serotonin from socializing. They’re all helpful to get you out of a rut! 💇🏻💡

On Emotional Dependency: Becoming Fixated.

I like studying about human behavior, like reading books on social psychology by brene brown for instance. As a sociable individual who needs a constant mental stimulation,  i alwaya try to stay engaged genuinely in relationships i cherish. That’s why i really appreciate the intimacy and vulnerability in having real honest conversations. So here i may show you my honest talk. But to be clear, it’s not oversharing my parts of life in a particular way.

In fact, I just think of writing as a helpful tool or subtle art to redirect my own thoughts  rather than muttering them. It’s the desire for self awareness and i find it therapeutic. So with that’s been said, let get it started… After swearing off dating for sometime, i thought i was ready to get back in the game..  i was quite sure and trustful about a partner i can potentially be with. I was completely interested in what could’ve come afterwards. But forget about the could’ve should’ve and would’ve.

Turned out, unfortunately it was unstable and unsettling for some reasons. Since dealing with my work and study at same time kind of stress me out at some point (still adapting to it),  so it was hard for me to feel good and solid by the time break downs came in. When i felt stressed and less empowered, I found myself seeking for self validation as part of my support system in that relationship in particular way. I became fixated on one person emotionally, something which is called dependency. Definitely something i’m not proud of.

I was aware that through my emotional dependency, i was actively seeking in my partner some sort of  self-validation in my bustling tough days to manage.  It wasn’t like only sunday candy obviously, i was seeking more than that emotionally. But on that period of time, what i got was only emotional detachment. I felt emotionally distant instead. That hell of a thing clearly made things go moooore downhill. Unfair it is.  I’m not going to ruminate on this though, since i know there won’t be any satisfying explanation of all this.

The bottom line is things were not mutually connected and understandable. It didn’t work out. It was like a cycle that isn’t necessarily healthy after all. So what i discover in that experience is that – it is wrong to have the sole purpose of having attempts in building monogamous relationship that you trust too much or depend on. Giving certain amount of attention and energy to it really wasn’t worth it. And second, no one’s able to validate yourself better than you do. The other realization that i come to is also -don’t seek solid support system in others, it tires you down. Build your own and don’t keep hooked, eventually  you gain self-control, master yourself and feel solid to where you stand- which is the most fulfilling part.

Maintaining Healthy Habits.

In the midst of the hustle and bustle of daily life, it can be challenging to really master the day. Here i have compiled the list of habits that i’ve been trying to consistently adopt on a daily basis that cover fitness and wellness. Let’s just dive right into it…

1. Be an Early Riser

Each day i manage to wake up at 6 am, unless i sleep super late the night before.  They say first hour of the day is a sacred golden time, so don’t start off with being gadget freak checking your phone for too long. Get your butt off the bed and make the bed. Clear space clear mind.

2. Practice Mindfulness

After that is done, i continue to have a mindful moment of calm by meditating for 5-10 minutes. We need to enjoy the moment of calm and practice awareness to appear grateful. I fancy the guided meditation by smart apps in my phone. Recently, i use Calm app. I discovered this app when i bought the book. The book is basically about telling me abt research conducted countless studies into mindfulness.

If it sounds intriguing, you can try and choose the right type of meditation depends on the goals you want to achieve. Self loving meditation and relaxation meditation, for instance. They’re all worth it.

P.S: If you’ve trouble sleeping, try sleep meditation to wind your mind down and fall into deep sleep.

3. Get Your Natural Morphine…Exercise!

While our body is coping up with stress, we need to stay active and fit. To get endorphin pumped out and feel energized afterward is the best feeling. I work out regularly whether it’s morning jog or hiit workout. So far, the refreshing one is morning jog. But the most rewarding is hiit workout! If i blow off a run, i do hiit work out in my room, there’s no equipment needed. It is intense and short work out, but it definitely gains your muscles and leave your body sore. You can work on your abs, thigh and butt by devoting only about 30 minutes of work out with the active rest section.

4. Undergo SocMed Detox

I really want to quit socmed. But its still very hard to be done for me, so i start it by uninstalling my instagram app temporarily during the weekday to fully put my attention to work and stuffs on daily basis. I try as hard as i can to re install it only on weekend.

The reasons i do that, because for me socmed leads me to unsettling anxiety. The more focus and energy i put to it the more i become reactive, which is just unhealthy. Other than the fact that its completely overwhelming, its also time consuming. It’s hard for me to be in the present moment, i tend to go more on autopilot.

Though it’s not quiet possible to quit the digital addiction, at least try to limit it to feel less detached. Try it yourself if you feel the same way about it.

5. Find Your Transcendent States

One of the pillars to pursue a meaningful life is transcendence, says writer Emily Esfahani Smith. It is when you’re stepping beyond yourself and feeling connected to a higher reality that makes you feel content as you lose the track of time. It can come from seeing art, brief time spent in a park or painting. Each person experience it in their own way. For me, solely on writing or reading i can lose all sense of time and place. I think personally, transcendent moments have considerable benefits for your mental state.

At the TED Talk, Emily says that “One study had students look up at 200-feet-tall eucalyptus trees for one minute. But afterwards they felt less self-centered, and they even behaved more generously when given the chance to help someone.”  

Here’s her talk that i find really thoughtful and moving.